Soubi
by itzarazorblade
Summary: I was given the promptWrite a scene in which dramatic tension revolves around a misspelling. The misspelling is that Ritsuka writes Soubi's name using the wrong kanji. It can trasnlate as equipment or magnificent beauty. self mutilation.
1. Part 1

PROMPT #3

Write a scene in which dramatic tension revolves around a misspelling; a road sign, a name on a birthday cake, directions to the doctor's office, a word in a spelling bee...(r/s)kiasidiraixari - LJ...

"He's not yours anymore. Let him go. He was never yours to begin with. Let it go." Ritsuka mumbled to himself over and over again, wrapping the bandage around his thigh.

The other night he had cracked thinking about the whole thing.

'Loveless'...

_"You are Loveless, and he is Beloved. You aren't meant to be together. He is mine. Isn't that right, Beloved?" Seimi smiled sweetly at his little brother before dragging his eyes over the boys head and to the fighter standing behind him._

_Ritsuka turned around to see Soubi turn his face away from looking at Seimei. He stood rigid behind Ritsuka for a second, staring at the floor with his head turned to the right. He twitched slightly and then started to walk around Ritsuka and to the front of Seimei. Bowing down on one knee and keeping his head low as he showed his submission to the older brother._

_Seimei smiled in that same '"I love you and I'll kill you" way back up at Ritsuka._

_"See! He's mine Ritsuka. I was just lettin' you borrow him for a little while." Seimei winked, stepping around Soubi and reaching out to ruffle Ritsuka's hair._

_Ritsuka smacked his hand away and pulled back, tears stinging a the corners of his eyes._

_"You're wrong!" He gritted out looking Seimei straight in the eyes. He felt no affection for this..shell of what his brother used to be._

_"Soubi loves me. He told me so... Soubi tell him!"_

_Seimei remaind smiling as he turned to walk back in front of the, still bowed, fighter._

_"Soubi." He hummed, reaching a hand down to tip the blondes face up towards his._

_"Tell Ritsuka who you love, Soubi."_

_He smiled down at Soubi, the smile growing every time he spoke and making him look more and more insane._

_"Tell him or kill him Soubi. Either way you're going to prove to my dear little brother who you love, Beloved."_

_Soubi remained solid, no sign of emotion in his face as he turned his head to speak over his shoulder, turning his eyes from Seimeis to the floor._

_"I love my sacrafice. I am his." He said in monotone._

It ripped through Ritsuka like nothing ever had. More than when he heard his brother had died, more than when he'd seen that charred body. More than when his mother would scream and hit him. It stabbed at him harder than the realization that his brother was actually alive and everything had been a lie. Tore pieces of his mind away more visciously than when he finally got to see, and touch 'Seimei' and realized that it was in fact not his brother.

He winced slightly as he wound the bandage too tightly.

"It's what I am" He mumbled to himself again as he rewrapped that part of the bandage, bits of blood seeping through.

He scooped the razor off the counter and stuck it in his pocket.

_Soubi was throwing spells at him left and right as his brother laughed and wrapped his arms around the fighters body. Caressing and touching and owning. Ritsuka eventually just allowed himself to fall back after the fifth or so time he had gotten the wind not really knocked out of him, but removed. Right before he had closed his eyes and resigned himself to the fact that this was it, he was going to die at the hands of someone whom he was still waiting for. Always waiting for. He saw the Zero's come bursting in. Dash over his head, and another fight began._

_He had regained consciousness just in time to see Seimei go crashing down to the floor under the hands of Ritsu. Not a spell. But human hands that wrapped around his throat._

_Seimei writhed around and screamed for Soubi who stood, eyes wide and shaking. Obviously he had no idea who to obey in this situation. Not the problem he had with Seimei and Ritsuka._

_Ritsuka stood up and watched as his older brother was strangled to death and the man he had dedicated so much energy and thought into turned and walked away._

_He ran up to Soubi and shoved him, weak though it was the thought was still behind it._

_"I HATE YOU. YOU LIED TO ME, IT'S ALL YOU EVER DO IS LIE. YOU HURT ME. YOU'RE DISGUSTING. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS." he repetatively slammed his fists into the mans chest as he sobbed._

It was somewhere around midnight and he figured his mother was asleep and it would be safe to go into. He hobbled slightly into the kitchen to grab some ice, opened the freezer and turned around as he heard footsteps.

A slight breeze passed his face and he jerked his head back and lifted his arms in defence as the frying pan that had just wizzed past his head swung the other way and he had to duck down on his bad leg.

"I thought you were sleeping!" Ritsuka shrieked as she flung the frying pan downwards with both hands and he had to skid acrossed the floor to get away.

"I'm so sorry, did I wake you up?"

She ignored his words and just screamed throwing the frying pan in his direction. He scooted away but it smacked his shoulder as he moved to stand.

"Give me Seimei. What did you do with him. He left because of you. Because he couldn't stand how disgusting you've become. You're horrible. GET OUT." She yelled opening a drawer and chucking the conents at him.

For a second he just held still and let her words sink in, along with a fork and a spatchela in his face. A measuring cup caught him in the eye and he decided he should leave.

But where would he go? It had been a week since the incident and a week since he had seen Soubi. He had tried calling for him, in his mind of course. Attempted his cellphone, but when did that man ever answer his promised constant connection to Ritsuka.

He sprinted out of the kitchen, and slipped on shoes quickly as he slipped through the door calling behind him to his mother,

"I'm sorry. I'll be more quiet next time."

It was pitch black and he didn't have his cellphone to call anyone. After thinking a bit more it dawned on him he didn't really have anyone exactly. He wandered down dark streets and after a few minutes began to feel light headed and cold. Sitting down on the edge of the dark road, he wondered if it was always this dark at night, and how his father managed to drive in it. He didn't even have to close his eyes to enjoy the blankess of it all.

The lack of screaming, the lack of light, the lack of energy. It was pleasant. Just him and his thoughtless mind which he focussed on the lack of everything.

He wondered if anyone was aware that the streetlights were flickering. Not bothering to stop and realize that they weren't actually flickering but dimming instead. Not bothering to stop and realize that they weren't doing anything, and that he was the one going dim.

_Seimei burried his face in the back of Ritsuka's neck and nuzzled him as the smaller boy cried into his chest._

_"Seimei..why does she hate me so much..I-I didn't d-do anything. I promise. I'm me..."_

_Seimei smiled and pet Ritsuka's hair, stopping to rub his ears which always calmed the boy down._

_"She's sick Ritsuka, it's ok. I'm right here."_

_A large, strong, hand gently nudged Ritsuka down on the bed on his back as the other gently removed his shirt._

_He winced a little as the cold hit him and an anticeptic was sprayed on his split open chest._

_"Was this a knife?" He asked in his calm voice._

_"... nails" Ritsuka mumbled._

_Soubi sighed._

_"She did this with her nails?" Soubi said with that same voice, applying a patch of gauze over it and reaching over to his night stand for his medical tape, he pressed a little too hard and Ritsuka reached up grabbing his loose button up shirt with both hands and whimpering. Soubi immediately completely removed his hand from Ritsuka and jerked back, quickly replacing his hands on Ritsuka's face and petting his cheeks with his thumbs._

_"I'm sorry" he whispered._

_He looked down at the boys torso, covered in red lines and his lip ripped open. He nuzzled down into Ritsuka's neck and mumbled,_

_"I should've been there to protect you."_


	2. Part 2

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Kio...the hell. What happened." Someone sounded panicked.

"I don't know he was just sitting outside acrossed the street passed out!"

"Put him in my room...Do you know where he's hurt? Where is the blood comming from?"

"I don't know."

He was moving. Being carried it seemed. Was he in a hopital? Dead? He decided he liked the latter.

"Go get me some cold compresses and neosporin..." He felt air hit his legs and tried to open his eyes but a voice in the back of his mind mumbled to him about how nice it would just be to go back to sleep.

"Kio.." He heard the voice shout as his leg was painfully pointed, toes up at the ceiling.

"Forget the neosporin, get hydrogen peroxide and lots of bandages. And some water...He looks sick..."

"Do you think we should try and feed him? He looks so much smaller than last time I saw him."

Ritsuka felt someone attempting to hold him in a sitting position and take his shirt off at the same time and began to struggle.

What the fuck were these people doing? Stripping him naked?

He opened his eyes a bit and the voice begging for sleep got louder. Pushing the large, warm hands away he shoved himself out of the mans hold and fell to the other side of the bed with a light 'plop'.

'So tired...'

"Ritsuka? Ritsuka open your eyes. Ritsuka." Those hands were on his face again.

'Sleep, sleep, I love the dark. It's so relaxing.'

"Ritsuka, I need you to look at me. Stay awake. Please."

'Quiet! I'm trying to sleep can't you see?'

A face was pressed into the crook of his neck and a less than calm voice harshly whispered,

"I should've been there, I'm sorry."

Ritsuka cracked his eyes open,

"You lie." he whispered.

"You're not sorry."

He saw someone walk in and drop something on the bed as he was rolled over by said person.

"Well don't just sit there and stare at him Soubi, come on. He's bleeding on your bed. Do something!"

He felt the sting of the anticeptic on his shoulder that had apparently been torn open by something that had hit him, and his leg.

They took off his previously applied bandages and extremely tightly wrapped another one around his thigh, put an icepack over it, and lightly wrapped that on as well.

Ritsuka was still deciding whether or not he wanted to get up and leav,e or just fall asleep like he had previously so desired.

His legs were propped up on several pillows so that they were almost pointed straight up.

"Is that really necessary? He isn't even bleeding that badly. There was no more than ...like a fourth of a cup of blood on the ground..."

"That was through jeans, and he's obviously not eaten in a while... I'm gunna go make some food...stay here."

Ritsuka decided the light was too bright to allow him to slip back into his peaceful slumber and he opened his eyes fully, for the first time, and turned his head at the weight shifting on the bed.

"You're awake!!!" Kio shouted from a far corner of the room.

"We thought we were gunna have to call 911 or somethin' kid!" He walked up smiling.

"You were so pale and cold and-"

"Will you take the icepack back to the freezer Kio..." Soubi said in his normal monotone voice as he took off the top bondage from Ritsuka's thigh and removed the icepack. Ritsuka's heart skipped a beat at the realization of just who was sitting next to him, speaking next to him, touching him.

Ritsuka immediately wanted the ice back as his numb leg throbbed. He squirmed, grunting a little.

Kio just nodded and took the ice into the other room.

"If it hurts then why'd you do it." Soubi said focussing intently on unwrapping the bottom bandage to replace the gauze that was decently soaked in, now drying, blood.

Ritsuka turned his head to the left away from Soubi and pulled his leg off the pillows and away from Soubi's far too warm hands. He couldn't stay mad with him touching him. Couldn't keep being hopeless of Soubi was speaking to him like he cared. He'd be ripped out of his self enduced state of numb hatred.

"I wanted to remember this forever." Ritsuka said turning his head towards Soubi.

"I wanted to remember having my heart broken by a stranger. So that maybe I'd never do it again." he said looking straight at the side of Soubi's head as the man braced himself on the bed and closed his eyes tightly.

"Ritsuka... You don't understand-" 

"No.." Ritsuka sat up.

"I do, you love him. And that's ok. It was ridiculous of me to think I could compaire to Seimei...let alone replace him. You're his."

Soubi shook his head, his long blonde pony tail slithering along his back.

"I don't belong to him. I've got no sacrifice. I am a fighter for whoever claims me." Soubi sighed.

"What about Ritsu? He didn't claim you."

Soubi looked up into Ritsuka's eyes and Ritsuka shook slightly. That look. What made him look so damaged sometimes...

"How did he claim you..." Ritsuka muttered. Soubi just looked away.

There was a long stretch of silence where Ritsuka couldn't quite grasp a hold of a single question he so desperately wanted to ask out of everything he felt he had the right to know now.

"You never claimed me, Ritsuka. You always fought giving me orders. You never owned me."

"But you owned me. And I belonged to you." Ritsuka said, scrunching up his face in attempts to not cry. He couldn't let this man see him any weaker than he already had. Couldn't show him anymore of him than he had already exposed. He didn't deserve any of it.

"I never said I didn't belong to you Ritsuka, I said you never owned me." Soubi whispered as he got up and got more gauze.

Ritsukas eyes went wide and he thought of the way he felt when Soubi had turned to face him and openly announce his love for Seimei.

"You told me you loved me... You made me trust you."

Soubi paused his movements for a second, back facing Ritsuka as he stood at his dresser.

"I do love you Ritsuka."

"YOU LIE" Ritsuka screamed so loudly his voice cracked. He felt that. He felt it go through his entire body. Every ounce of betrayal in the sentence. And he wished he had just gone to sleep like he wanted to earlier.

"Don't yell. You don't have the strength for that."

"You would've killed me if he asked you to." Ritsuka hiccupped a little as he fought back a sob.

"But he didn't. He wasn't going to, he just wanted me to rough you up. It had nothing to do with you..." He came back to the bed and Ritsuka pulled his knees into his chest so that he couldn't touch the wound.

"Leave it alone." He demanded.

"I don't want you to touch me."

Soubi leaned forward and put his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, sighing hard.

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka..you just don't understand... if it wasn't me. If I wasn't his fighter. I'm sure he'd have found someone just as good if not better and killed us both... I couldn't have you die because I was weak."

"So you make all these decisions without asking me? I'm part of this as well!" Ritsuka snapped straightening his leg slowly as he realized it had begun to weep slightly.

"Let me bandage that, please, Ritsuka." Soubi turned and looked Ritsuka straight in the eyes for the first time in two weeks.

"I was a chore for you" Ritsuka gritted out as his held back tears began to poor down his face, causing his cheeks to burn.

"I was nothing but a babysitting job. A child. You might have loved me but not the way you made me think." Soubi went to interupt Ritsuka but he yelled,

"NO. You admitted it Soubi! You sat in front of me and said you loved him-"

"I said I loved my sacrifice, Ritsuka. I said I loved who I belonged to."

In one swift move he was hovering over Ritsuka, hand on his face where that silly bandage always seemed to be, the other stedying him on the bed.

He scooted in as if he was going to kiss Ritsuka but barely pressed his lips to Ritsuka's, mumbling,

"And that is you. And it always has been...And it always will be. Ritsuka."

Ritsuka choked back as much as he could before finally bursting into gut wrenching sobs, face pressed against the mans chest as Soubi craddled him and pet his hair, gently rubbing his ears. Because it really did always calm him down.

"I love you, Ritsuka." Soubi whispered into the boys hair.

"Even if you can't spell my name" he chuckled.

Ritsuka pulled back quickly, glancing down at his thigh, which had managed to get little spots of blood all over Soubi's sheets.

The bold kanji stood out on his leg. Three inches tall and wide. Deeper than just about anything that had ever been inflicted on him,

"壮美"

"I did not!" Ritsuka huffed, wiping his eyes.

Soubi's large, gentle hands lightly touched the mark, he smiled sadly.

"No. It's wrong. My name isn't 'magnificent beauty'..." He reached in one of his pockets and took out a pen, sloppily writing on the back of his own hand "装備".

"It's written like this."

Ritsuka blinked at it a few times before shaking his head 'no'.

"You are not 'equipment' Soubi...you're beautiful.." Ritsuka flushed a little, against his newly paler skin it looked amost sickly.

Soubi smiled, which was something so incredibly rare that every once in a while Ritsuka would think he'd never seen it before.

"Please never do that again... If you want memories.. we can go take pictures." He whispered into Ritsuka's forehead as he leaned forward and cupped the back of Ritsuka's neck.

"You were gone for two weeks" Ritsuka argued.

"You made it very clear you wanted nothing else to do with me.." Soubi mumbled as he slid his face down and captured Ritsuka's lips.

Ritsuka stiffened a little, but still reached out and grasped Soubi's shirt, pulling him closer.

"You were acting like Seimei's 'equipment'...not my 'magnificent beauty'..." Ritsuka mumbled against Soubi's mouth befor the older mans tongue slipped in and his mind went blank, he had grown so fond of blank lately.

He'd have to let Soubi clear his mind more often.


End file.
